Would you like to play a game?

I thought long ago that someday I might get sick of playing games as I got older and "more intellectual." It hasn't happened yet. Video games were my main addiction, but now I'm really into trading card games. There is probably nothing more geeky than these card games - Magic the Gathering and my new favorite, the Marvel VS. System, and I couldn't care less. Although I'm 30, have a house and wonderful wife, and a real job teaching high school students, you'd think I would have given up the gaming hobby (especially because it's terribly expensive). But I haven't - and I hope I never will. There is something about it that keeps me young - keeps me smiling and aware that small joys can mean so much. It would be easy for me to be a "serious" guy all the time - sometimes I can feel myself become that way as I worry about the world around me - the world that seems to me to be falling apart. I fear for the future of my students and what kind of world they are entering... I fear for myself and Casey sometimes too. But with video games or card games, the dark cloud goes away, and for a brief time I'm a kid again, where the only true worry in the world is winning the game and having fun.

Comic Book Summer

Summer is almost over for me - and I'll be back to school in a little over a week. This summer was great, though. My wife and I saw Batman Begins four times, and it inspired me to break open all my old comics (and buy a bunch of new ones).

I think when people ask me what I did this summer, I'll tell them I read comic books. It's a much more interesting answer than "worked on the house" or "played video games" or "nothing."

Comic books are incredible. They are at once works of art and great literature. People might scoff when I say this - but I think both are (or can be) true. They are reflections of our culture and times - and past comic books are a direct link to that period's fears, hopes, and dreams.

Right now I'm digging Captain America. Here is a comic book hero who, above all, fights any evil that might threaten his country. Throughout history he's fought Nazi's, Russians, and, of course, more modern enemies to American liberty. And now, Captain America is having his doubts about his countries past and his role in America's exploitation of the world. Some diehards have freaked out - but Captain America is showing his humanity, and is again a reflection of our times. He's becoming a true American patriot - someone who doesn't blindly follow, but someone who questions the very country he loves, and still has the heart to fight for it.

Happy Birthday, My love...

I never thought I would be so lucky to have you in my life. You have made my life full of meaning and happiness. I love you, Casey! Happy 30th Birthday!!!!

Regret

I can't take it when my wife cries. She cried today when she read my blog - tiny tears shed because of the last line of my blog. I regret it. I suppose when you end any week, I've played more video games than she has... so why do I get so upset when she spends so much time on the PSP? I don't know... maybe it's because she's the responsible one... she's the reliable one... she's the best of the two. I love her with all my heart and everything I am... so maybe it's time I stop playing so many games too...

PSP...gamecube...whatever

My wife isn't always sure what it's called - sometimes it's a gamecube... sometimes it's a PSP... and it doesn't matter. What matters is that she can turn it on and play a puzzle game. I love her more than anything on this earth, but the PSP is a thorn in our side. She plays it when we drive - which makes driving so much more lonely. She plays it when she says she should be doing art, and gets very upset if I suggest she turn it off. Her goal, strangely, was to wipe my name from all the high score slots. She thought that if she did that, she would be satisfied. I haven't touched the game for at least a month (or more), and sure enough, her game name, "Yoda," fills every high score there is. She's addicted now... at one point she even hid the PSP under the loveseat so I wouldn't catch her playing. I'm not sure what to do... sell it? Hide it? Or just let her play it... after all, in any given week, I still spend more time gaming than she does...
This little piece of technology is truly amazing - but I think , in the end, it has created a tiny little space between us I want back.

Bad Picture - Good Guy

First off- I know this isn't a good picture. So why am I posting it? Simply because I just realized I don't really have any great pictures of someone as important as this guy is to me. His name is John, and he's one of the best guy's I've ever met. He will always be one of my best friends - someone who I love like family.

I'm hesitant to say who I would be today if it weren't for him. I was such a different person when I was younger - when I first met him at "The MART." I couldn't have expected at the time someone like him would come along and show me the path to who I am now. I was at a crossroads in my life: I liked partying far too much, would lash out at people without reserve, and had the most intense anger hidden inside me, some people were actually afraid of me... (remember Calhorn, John?). I can safely say that without him I wouldn't have the gifts I have today - a wife, a house (with two kitties in it!), and a future filled with possibility.

John was my supervisor, and he was always there for me. Even though I should have been fired dozens of times, John stood behind me, backed me up, and talked me through things. He saw the worst I had to offer - but he helped to bring out the best.

Maybe someday I'll be able to pay him back. I laugh with him at his bad luck (one of his great gifts is being able to laugh at the absolute worst life has put him through), but deep inside I wish there was something I could do for him. Who knows... maybe there is... and then I can take a better picture.

The problem with blogs...

Is that you have to update them. I'm a slacker when it comes to doing this. And the funny thing is that I have no excuse. There's no "I was too busy" or "I was out of town" or any of that junk. Nope - the answer, really, is that I've just been lazy.

SO... to pick things back up again, here is a favorite picture of mine. My friend told me of a spot at the edge of town where native Nebraska prarie is being restored. It's hard to imagine what Nebraska - or the Midwest - looked like before the entire landscape was altered...

Lightplay

I think this might be the last post from the South Dakota trip. I might have milked it long enough... the journey was a lonely one - but worth it, I think. Perhaps someday Casey and I will be able to do this more - to explore the world and share what we see.

Barriers

SO... it's not a great photo. I realize that. There is no real depth to the photo - nothing to create a sense of distance. I don't care... What's amazing about being in such remote areas of Nebraska and South Dakota are boundless distances without fences, light posts, and power lines. There were times when I would stop the car and just spend a few minutes looking out into the distance, imagining myself walking slowly through the fields and spending time enjoying the simple beauty of the land. Of course, that didn't happen. I had to hurry to get home to my wife and kitties, and I was still somewhat frightened I'd get killed by a rattlesnake.

The Badlands of South Dakota...

This place was the real reason for my trip. I remember going there as a kid - years ago with my wonderful aunt and uncle and cousins - and seeing this place was the highlight of my trip. I wanted to stay for a long time and take in the view, but we had to leave quickly to get home at a reasonable time.

Ever since, I wanted to go back - to experience it for myself and stay as long as I liked. The wait was worth it - what a wonderful place.

A scene near the badlands that had me giddy with anticipation. At this point I didn't really know where I was. I kept looking at a map, not quite sure if I was on the right road - since some of the roads here don't seem to have signs. However, I didn't really care once I got here and watched the sun peek through the clouds, illuminating only parts of the beautiful land in front of me.  

Remember Star Wars and the way they would make the jump to lightspeed? That's what this photo reminds me of... 

This was a spot right off a busy highway in South Dakota. Since I was in a rush to the badlands, I hopped out of the car, ran around the scene with my camera, and then jumped back in my car. Like the entire two-day trip, I barely had time to ingest what I was seeing and doing until I got home. This is one of the "winners" of the trip.  

Day two began like this: rainy and dreary. I was SO close to going home... waiting at a stop light for a train to pass. Left was South Dakota - turning right was home. At the last second, a car behind me waiting for my decision after the train had passed, I turned left to South Dakota, risking the weather. It turned out to be a good choice... 

PHOTOGRAPHY - SHOTGUN STYLE... 2 days... 36 hours... 1400 miles... and two states. This was the very first shot of the trip - the VERY first time I brought out my camera - nearly five hours into the trip. More to come! 

This is just one of those pictures that turned out better than expected.  

"I was haunted by the idea that I'd remembered her wrong." - Solaris, 2002.

Have you noticed that memory often changes in ways we don't expect? Entire scenes we hold dear are not exactly how they happened, and you find out through a simple conversation that something deep inside of you - a memory of an old friend, a grandmother, a favorite childhood experience - didn't happen like you remembered? It's a frightening experience, one that asks if we are ever truly able to trust our memories.

I almost didn't take this one. I passed by it twice during tonight's "photo expedition" with my wife. I just didn't think there was anything there... but I thought about the little spot as I walked somewhere else. When I came back to it, I had the idea for this shot. It seems to me a place where dreamers can dream, and the real world has no influence on those who take a turn in the shade. As Uncle Marty would say "What a shot!"  

There are precious few moments when the light is right for this kind of shot. I kept driving around frantically, the morning of my two-year anniversary of my marriage, looking for a place to get the sky without power lines or buildings in the way. I had to drive to the top of a hill, a little ways out, to get the shot.  

My family loves to cook. Whenever we have a family gathering, home-cooked food must be involved... and they aren't messing around, either. There's almost never any store-purchased, manufactured goods. The gravy, breading, sauces, and even salad dressing are all prepared fresh for the meal. It's a day-long process - with my sister and mother waking up early to cook. I always loved to eat the food... and only now, with a new house and a wife, do I realize what a special gift it is to be able cook something good for someone else. There's something truly wonderful about being able to cook for my wife, and a little part of me becomes uncontrollably giddy when she asks for seconds. Some couples have special songs - special places to go - and we do too... but we also have special meals we have shared, and certain foods will always link me to those moments with her.