Out of Retirement

You know it's serious "old-school" time when I put on this hat. It's old and worn out. It's not very attractive with the crusties. But it's still my favorite hat of all time, and it was only appropriate to bring it out of retirement for the Hatebreed, God Forbid, Terror, and Evergreen Terrace show last night. Match that with my old red jersey, and I was having a serious feeling of nostalgia.

As I sit here, the ringing in my ears is JUST starting to go away. I have some aches and bruises too, but it was all worth it. The concert might have been the best I've ever witnessed.

You know it's going to be special when Terror is the opening act. These guys could probably headline, and here they are opening. They came on stage to a still-arriving and "cold" crowd and quickly whipped the room into a frenzy. Seriously - within a few minutes the pit formed, heads were whipping back and forth, and it seemed like the last song of the night when everyone goes "all-out."

It was almost like Terror was setting the bar for the other bands - and I didn't think Evergreen had a chance. I was wrong. The lead singer, a skinny blond-haired guy, came on stage and destroyed the place. The band itself was very cool live, and just kept the intensity up the entire set. It was awesome.

God Forbid was next, and by then, the crowd was ravenous. When they walked on stage, the roar of the crowd was terrifying, and God Forbid absolutely blew that place up.

I thought I had given up the pit. I really, honestly thought I would never get back in it, but when my buddy Eric said "I'm going in" sometime in the middle of God Forbid's set, I didn't even hesitate.

Over the years the pit has seemed to change. It went from a brutal, brotherly game of football without rules, helmets, or time outs to wiry little guys running through the pit throwing their fists all over the place. I hated how it had changed, and match that with my much older and slow-to-heal body, and I thought I had retired.

Last night, though, was the pit of old. The pit I love.

If you don't understand the pit, you never will. Don't even try - because it really is just a black or white issue. You either love it or you hate it.

I love it.

The mosh pit is something that on the outside is completely ridiculous, dangerous, completely stupid, and probably should be illegal. Inside the pit, however, things are different. You're part of a hardcore group doing something so brutal most people wouldn't even consider it.

There is nothing else that matches true hardcore heavy metal than the feeling of the pit - getting in there, bashing each other, screaming in the swirling, uncontrollable chaos. We get in there and put the hurt on each other -trying to out-slam the other guys, trying to stay standing, trying to breathe... and loving every second of it. When one of us falls, there is quickly a mass of people around to help you back up, giving you a pat on the back and a "go-get-em" look as they push you back out into the madness whether you want to or not.

Last night's pit was awe-inspiring, and God Forbid pushed us to what I thought was our max.

That was until Hatebreed came out.

Hatebreed put on a performance I will not forget. It was one of the most intense, heavy, and mind-blowing shows I've ever even imagined. The pit never stopped, and the intensity just kept building. They played new stuff and old, and the entire room was completely out-of-control.

Half-way during "DESTROY EVERYTHING," the pit was pure uncontrolled craziness, and I got completely destroyed (getting old sucks). My hat flew off, and I remember, on my way down, thinking "well, at least I lost that hat at a Hatebreed show."

Amazingly, however, a hand reached down to help me up, and it was Matt - a student I had my first year teaching. Matt was a "troubled" kid - although he had a big heart, he also had a lot of baggage, coming from a group home and had some serious problems with anger management. He and I didn't always see eye-to-eye, and I was tough on him sometimes, but he came back to see me a few years after that just to tell me how much I meant to him.

So here he was at the Hatebreed concert, his shirt off, showing off some tattoos, helping me off the floor. In his other hand was my hat. He threw it on my head, said "I love you, Z!" and after a quick hug, we launched ourselves right back into the pit.

Unforgettable.